Last weekend was my birthday weekend, however, we had a lot of obligations so there was very little ME time. And since I am the princess on my birthday, when we saw a fun looking event on Underground Eats, we quickly decided it sounded like a perfect way to celebrate my day.
It was billed as follows:
Enjoy a three-hour cruise during which you’ll feast on jumbo lobster rolls, oysters, and whoopie pies, get a chance to learn the secrets of oyster shucking and help yourself to endless beer and wine.
- Jumbo Lobster Rolls
- Ahi & Watermelon Ceviche
- East & West Coast Oysters
- Whoopie Pies
- Open Bar (Beer & Wine)
- Live Music
- Oyster Shucking Class
- Learn to Break Down a Lobster
Sounded like a good value for $60. HA! That’s a joke. I don’t think I’d let someone pay me to take this boat trip again. What a shit show.
Though it didn’t start too bad.
We haven’t spent much time in Greenpoint, Brooklyn and we arrived much earlier than intended. Not much to see in the area so we killed about 45 minutes on a bench checking out a new view of the skyline.
Our ship then pulled in
And before we knew it, there was a HUGE line behind us. (They boarded a bit late, and took a lot longer to board than intended, so we wound up leaving nearly 45 minutes later than scheduled)
They were checking bags and giving everyone the pat down to get on the boat.
It was pretty empty when we first got on (which obviously didn’t last). They had a downstairs dance floor and DJ who spun an odd collection of “beachy” music I had never heard before, but it was decent. Though I’m not sure if I would consider this “live music” as billed.
There were 2 stations downstairs for lobster rolls and whoopie pies, as well as a bar.
And upstairs there were about 20 seats, a dance floor, 2 food stations (oysters and ceviche), and a small bar.
The bar started with a very nice beer offering. I LOVE Sixpoint Sweet Action. Always tastes like summer and baseball to me. (Perhaps because I tried it first at Citi Field).
Very quickly, the ceviche line opened. I was SO hungry so I ran up to get it. Sadly, it was coated in peppers. But Mike said it was very interesting since it was combined with watermelon.
I went downstairs a few times, but no food was being served yet (and even though the whoopie pies were out, he wouldn’t let me touch them until the “official time”). I kept checking, and I finally caught it open and the line was already across the boat and spiraling back (it wound up building to a triple snaking line). I left Mike upstairs since there were only 20 chairs and we scored them early.
And I waited… and I waited… 50 minutes.
50 minutes on line to get lobster rolls.
And then I got up there all excited to finally try one…
And they wouldn’t give me one for Mike. “1 per person.”
Now I get it. I get that they don’t want everyone to come down and hog 2 lobster rolls at once.
Then at some point during my 50 minute wait online, how about someone come out and TELL us that? How about tell us that when we get on the boat? Or give people tickets to get lobster rolls?
Or… HELL… put more than 20 freakin seats on a boat that you put at least 200 people on.
I was NOT a happy camper.
I tried to argue with the guy serving, who was from Greenpoint Fish, but he was a total jerk to me. He called me “little girl” and told me to “stop complaining and move along.” Not cool. Not cool at all. It’s bad enough to give a customer a bad experience (especially for a place that I believe is trying to open a restaurant soon). I immediately tweeted them an unhappy sentiment, and not only did they not do the customary social media community management best practice of responding… they actually censored/deleted my tweet from their wall. Bravo jerks. Bravo.
I was so angry that I didn’t even get a good picture of the roll, but really there was no reason to. I’m not saying this because they were totally douchey to me, but the lobster roll was just meh. When the line finally went down a while later, Mike got on line for his (waited another 20 minutes or so) and got to the front to find out that they actually ran out of their lobster roll meat, but they had some fresh cracked lobster meat to put on the bun. Now this lobster… this lobster was GREAT! It made it very obvious that they had either used frozen or sub-par lobster in the original roll.
Needless to say, I will never go to Greenpoint Fish.
After this disappointment, at least we had the view to check out.
After watching the world go by for a bit, we went and got ourselves some oysters. These were awesome. Super fresh and the shucker spent all 5 hours on his feet, shucking at incredible speeds. Props shucker man.
And then we went to get some whoopie pies.
Now these were no Cranberry Island Kitchen whoopie pies (the vendor we chose for our wedding), but they were good in their own way. They tasted like fresh devil dogs. We enjoyed these and actually, this was the only food I could fill up on, so I had a few. Yum.
And then we made a sweep next to the lady. (A view I never get tired of)
They then had their lobster cracking demonstration. Most of the stuff I’ve already shown, but a genius way to get meat out of the legs… use a rolling pin. Comes right out! Who knew?
And these were the fresh lobsters that wound up going into the good lobster roll. I love how the light is shining on them, as if from heaven. (mmmm heavenly lobsters)
About halfway through the cruise, the good beer ran out. No more Sixpoint Brews. Just Bud and Bud Light. I’d rather just drink water. BLEH.
And then everything went to hell. The bathrooms stopped flushing.
To make matters much worse, the boat was basically entirely Brooklyn hipsters. Total hipsters. I couldn’t believe the amount of fun mustaches and rolled up pants with boat shoes I saw. But the style aside, these millenials were jerks. It was like a bad episode of Girls. They smoked on the small boat, in the middle of everyone eating, and refused to move. (NO ESCAPE!) They cut in line and then kept blocking the path to get anywhere on the boat (including the broken bathrooms). They danced into me while I was waiting in various lines, many times, and no apologies. They were obnoxiously drunk and dropped food all over and threw their cigarette butts into the water. And they just had no courtesy for anyone around them. It was as if they were the only one on the boat. I really hate the self-involved, entitled attitude.
And afterwards everyone got on their vintage bicycles and peddled home.
I blame Lena Dunham.